1. They can’t
hear your words over your emotions: When we let irritation or anger get the
best of us and drive us to yell or use words or tone that is aggressive, we
shut down the parts of our dog’s brain that helps them to listen, learn and
cooperate.
Solution: Learn
and practice calming yourself and managing your emotions and responses:
Identify personal coping and calming skills that help you to manage your
emotions and responses. Designate a time every day to ponder and practice these
skills so that you can use them when you need them most. Daily relaxation and
meditation can be helpful. It can also help to plan ahead of time simple words
or phrases you can use when you are upset. Realize your dog is not plotting
your demise... he is simply doing what
works... are you?
2. They know
you’ll remind them when it’s actually important: Most people call this nagging.
Even though no one likes to be nagged, when we are told multiple times to do
something, we start to learn that the first request is not important.
Unconsciously we make those requests low on the priority list because we know
that we can ignore it without any real consequence until it is actually
important
Solution: Only
tell them once. Set appropriate limits or boundaries to their play and
movement. If your dog knows a
behavior... ask it once, then wait.
Don’t ask for sit, sit... sssiiiiit.
3. They are
preoccupied and busy with something else: I know one of the most difficult
times to get my dogs to listen is when they are playing with their canine
buddies, relaxing in their bed or chewing on their Nyla bone.. The thing that
helps me empathize with my dogs on this one is that I experience the same thing
regularly. When I am working, I can become pretty absorbed in the process. If
someone asks me to do something else while I am in the middle of a thought,
chances are it will not happen right away. There’s even a good chance that I
may not verbally or non-verbally respond to them. This is not because I don’t
care about what they are saying or even that I don’t intend on fulfilling the
request, but I have already set my intention and priorities on my present task.
Simply shifting gears before having some completion or closure is difficult. I
know that my dogs feel the same way about their friends. When my pups are
engrossed in play and don’t hear my request, it’s not because they are ignoring
me. Chances are it’s because they are engaged in something else.
Solution: Move
toward, touch, make eye contact, speak kindly and calmly, and respect their
current engagement: When we are immersed in something, shifting attention can
require respect, patience and more than just words. We often bark out orders
while our dogs are engaged in something else. In order to increase listening
and make sure we are heard, move toward them, give them a gentle touch on the
shoulder to get attention and make eye contact, use a food or toy lure or even
body block their distraction. When you have their attention, ask for the cue.
(sit, down, wait etc.) As your pup gains
focus and impulse control, you can increase the distractions. Ask yourself
"Have I been practicing enough?
Am I asking for the behavior this time the same way I did
last time, and the time before that?" We all get busy and slack off on
practicing for practice's sake, and then get frustrated when we don't get the
behavior we want. If puppy doesn't sit at the video store, it is because I
haven't practiced enough in general, or in places that are not my living room.
4. They need more
control: Puppies don’t like to be controlled or restrained. Pups will go to
great lengths to assert their independent personal ability to control
themselves. Pups in general will do some absurd things at times in the name of
non-conformity simply to say, no. You can’t tell me what to do!
Solution:
Increase your influence through kindness and giving them as much control as
they can handle: Give them choices and problem solve WITH them. With young
pups, it can be helpful to give them small choices and limit the choices to 2
options. At bedtime rather than simply saying, go to your crate! Reward them
for going to their crate with a stuffed Kong.
As the behavior is learned, you may choose to fade the reward, but for
now we want them to make the decision to do the best thing because it creates
the best reward.
5. They are
overwhelmed and over stimulated: Sometimes we use too many words and give too
many directions back to back. If someone attempted to give you directions to a
place you have never been in a totally unfamiliar foreign language, you might
simply tune them out and seek your own solution. Similarly, dogs need us to
speak their language and speak to them in digestible pieces.
Solution: Give
them smaller, bite size pieces and learn proper canine body language: When
giving instructions don’t overload them. Simple one word cues like sit and down
are more helpful then, “Come here, go to your bed”
There really are
some pretty good reasons our puppies might not be listening. They are the same
reasons that we sometimes don’t listen, hear or do what others ask of us. When
we understand the reasons, we can bridge the gap and increase respectful
listening and cooperation between us and our pups.
Tails-A-Wagging
